Saturday, December 8, 2012

Summing up my 2012.

The very long gone blogger has finally decided to finally publish something on this very deadly blog. Hello December. Truth be told,I haven been writing proper essays since I left high school. So you have to deal with my very poorly written English & tonnes of grammatical errors. My bad. :) Moving on,it's December now. So this is going to be another wordy post from me because I would like to sum up my year. I called this as a tradition because I love doing this. Even though my life is boring but I'd like to share it with all of you. I am already eighteen this year,how time flies right? Craaaaazy! :( So to start off as usual,I'd like to show you my freshly recent shot just in case you've forgotten how I actually looked like lol. :P

I don't know where I should start with. So I shall just go with the flow,just like how it goes with my life. If that make any sense to you. :P

In terms of studies. Let's see.

This year,I wouldn't say I had a lot of fun time comparing how I was back then in high school. I've finally learned how to take things seriously. & I realised that people around me no longer act like the people/friends I've met back in secondary school. People often asked me how it is like to be in an international school. I'd say is boring. Full stop. I am not too sure whether was it because I couldn't quite click with the people around me. Or we're just different people from different world. I do find it hard to communicate with people in school & hence,I find the joy in being quiet or I tend to like talking to myself even more. Omg,your bubbly blogger is no longer bubbly enough. :(

Aside from that. I have to admit that I have awesome lecturers. But one thing still didn't change after so long. I don't understand Chemistry & I still don't like it. This is bad since it has been a year in this course already. Other than that,school is good. I don't catch myself having too much fun but I guess is pretty normal. My seniors would always tell me that Pre-U is no fun. It's one of a hell. But when you officially stepped into Uni life then you'll tend to enjoy it more. So hopefully & finger crossed. :) Btw,if you don't know already. My course is ending in another half a year before proceeding to my degree. So right now I am kinda struggling with what to choose as my degree course. I know it's very important because it is something to deal with my future. I don't know want to be uncertain with my decision. Or doing it half way only to realise I didn't like it. So conclusion,I am very scared. Suggestions anyone?

Ps: Probably what I need is not suggestions. Because I know what people is going to say. Do what you like. Do what you feel like doing. Do something that you can picture yourself into. You know what? I can't picture myself in anything so save them for yourselves. I am a loss child. Sad. :(

My Pre-U friends don't like taking pictures I guess? So I don't have many shots with them. Shall insert whatever I have with me then. :)

Here's not all of them. But just part of them.

Ps: I don't have a lot of Pre-U friends mind you. We're not schools with 30 over students in a class. In fact,the whole course (combination of art & science streams) is only about 13 plus of us so yeah,a very small group. :) 

Next. Personal life shall we? :P

In terms of friends. Homg,I just realised I didn't make a lot of new friends this year. :( This is bad. I am not adventurous enough & I am too shy plus lack of self confidence all the time. No! This must change. I should definitely put inside my to-do list next year. Start getting to know more people! :O So whoever who are reading this kindly please contact me so that I know you exist & we can start being friends? :P I am a sad girl without a lot of friends. This is so bad. Hahahah. But whatever it is,I am not going to rant about it. Because at the end of the day,I know I should be thankful of what I am currently having. Despite it is a regret for not getting to know more people out there,I have to give credits to my friends. Whether are they my high school friends,seniors,juniors,ballet friends,current school friends. I have to say I kind of gotten more close to them. Really. With that,I really appreciate it. So whoever who's reading this I love you okay? Without you guys my life wouldn't be complete. Oh,& I need to give credits to my Twitter followers as well. Even though I might not meet/met most of them in real life but they are super sweet. I swear. I thank God for that. For example,whenever I have problems with something they are always there to cheer me up. They tweeted me randomly & unexpectedly. They just made my day all the time. With that,I definitely couldn't asked for more. I always say I don't know what I've done to deserve such sweethearts but I'll be grateful & thankful. *happy tears. :')

Of course,if there's gain,there's also lost right? I guess it's just a fair game. One thing,Decembers were never a good month for me. Since,2 years back I believe? I've lose my love ones,my friends & whoever who's precious to me. So far throughout this post,I've been putting things into the nicest way as possible. I am very positive with life because that's how I was brought up & how my friends have transformed me into. But what's life if there's no lost & hardships right? I believe everything happened for a reason. Whether you know the reasons/eventually finding out yourselves. But there's always a reason,an answer,a solution to everything. Sometimes,I might get a little too emotional when something bad happened. Or I might not settle it in a very good way when I thought I can always do better. But one thing,I've gotten very matured this year. Definitely. I am more positive & I know what I should or shouldn't do. 

When it comes to certain people that they've done too much harm in my life during the past,I realised I've get to handle situations quite well. Emotional wise checked! I guess I haven been changing much since the last time. I am not sure how you think about me after so long. But I am still that girl who doesn't believe in forgiving somebody. Probably I haven met that right person that I can feel sincerity from them & finally knows how to forgive them,yet. But so far I've only seen people with tonnes of empty promises & never fails to break my trust all the time. Sorry for not being sorry. But yeah,you don't deserve to be forgiven. After many experiences & pain I've encountered,I've finally learned how to play the game better than people out there. It's something that nobody can teach you but you have to go through yourself. 

Conclusion to people whom I no longer want to deal with: I guess I am fair enough. I stood in different perspectives to see whether this person deserve to be in my presence/future. I judged whether they can bring any advantages/changes in my life. If the answer is no,then you know where you stand in my life. All these years I am sick with being nice to every single person,including those who treated me like crap. But this year,I am not going to put it up to you people anymore. You're not forgiven & you deserve it. End of story. Sorry for not being sorry again. But I guess you deserve my meanness. :)

Side note,thank you for treating me like a trash,betrayed me,taking away my trust. Yes,I am not afraid to admit I have serious trust issues this year all thanks to people who've do no good but only harm in my life. Thank you. I hope I am a stronger person by now because I should. 

Last but not least,my ballet journey.

I am supposed to sit for my diploma/final major exam this year. But I still haven gained back the confidence & I am definitely not ready to sit for it yet,hence the delay. Just hopefully,I can finish off by next year. I definitely can't wait. :) Instead of sitting for my diploma,RAD actually came up with a new syllabus. So I decided to go in for that exam instead. My main intention is to gain back my confidence & to tell myself that exam is not so scary after all. So I went for it,Intermediate ballet exam. For those of you who don't know,it's actually 3 grades lower than my diploma. You might find it pointless for me going in for this exam but gosh,it helped me a lot. Aside emotionally being prepared,this new syllabus is a huge challenge. I've already got my scores. I am grateful that I scored as a distinction student. Not to brag. But I just thought I could achieve more. What's done is done anyway. :)

So there you go. A picture of my ballet certificate. Probably the last distinction I am getting in my whole entire life. :O This sounds bad. But thank you God,I am happy & grateful enough for this. :')

I guess it has already came to an end for this post. So this is a summing up for the year of 2012. Oh,I would like to apologize for not having a lot of pictures in this post. Just a sudden urge to update my blog. Btw,I am leaving Malaysia soon. So hopefully I will have the urge to keep you guys updated. I will definitely snap a lot of shots & hopefully they are going up to Facebook as well as this deadly blog. Let me know if you guys want update on that.

& &,before I forget. I've been investing on skincare products this year as well. I've got some products that I'd like to share it with you guys. Hopefully it helps too. Also let me know if you guys want a review on that? Okay? Cheers! Sorry for having such a long post. & I appreciate those who finished this off. :D

Lots of love,
Vanessa :)

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