Sunday, May 13, 2012

Of Mother's Day,& me?


Good day readers! :)

No need I say more? Picture above & my entry for the day had explained what I am about to talk today. Yes,there's my beautiful mommy. If you didn't know already. Thought she was my sister or something. :P because honestly,we got that a lot when we were out. People asking her whether are we sisters,or not. It's either I looked too old,or she probably looked to young. :B but at least,people know we are related. Isn't a bad thing after all,right? :)

I don't know what made me came blogging on Mother's Day. Truthfully,I don't exactly believe in Mother's Day. I am somebody who is never good in showing my gratitude. Especially asking me to speak out some flowery/lovey dovey words,that's really not me I'd say. What's with a bunch of flowers? A handmade card? Or even,surprises? I guess,my mother worth all above these,just once a year. I repeat,once a year. I'd rather put Mother's day everyday. Seriously. Every minute spent/going to spend with her in the future,it's a blessing already. & I am sure we don't need to wait til this particular day,just to give her something special. Right? Because she deserves more than just this. That's just my thought,anyways.

Another thing,I don't believe in buying a gift for her. Not because I am trying to hide myself/back up myself for not preparing anything. But I don't earn money myself. My source of income is from my parents. Logically thinking,buying her something feels as though she's using her own money. Just that,I am spending it on behalf of her. There,now you might know why some people around me might hate me for who I am because they hate that very logical thinking of mine. That I am too straight,sometimes. Or I'd say,most of the time. But I am telling you the truth. That I'd rather one day,when I am grown up enough to start earning money. A little piece of appreciation by then means more than anything. With that,I'd hope my mom understand. 

I couldn't stress more than this again,I don't know why I am expressing myself here than to tell her face to face. She doesn't read my blog. Who knows? Probably she does. Secretly? :B & I am pretty sure that my parents know I blog. It's just that,I don't bother finding out whether they keep track or not because I want them to just read silently,if they do. :) For some reason,I didn't like the thought of having anyone to come straight up to my face asking what am I talking about. Whether I posted it on my blog,Twitter or even Facebook. I don't need to explain every single thing I do to everyone,do I? What more,bunch of people whom I am not even close with. Friends,I'd label. Leave that aside,relatives asking me is already... Beyond my privacy limit,somewhat. :3

Nothing mushy in this post. Just wanting to thank my mom for being my mom. I don't care if that sentence made any sense. But it's definitely not easy being in her situation. Especially having a child like me. You can say I am a clingy kid,that I depend on my parents a lot. My dad himself admitted that too. But then he added:" You can't say she's not independent at all. She is. To certain extent." My parents know me well. In fact,too well. They couldn't describe me,could they? Just probably,maybe deep down they know how my character is. It's just that,it's not that easy raising me for the past 18 years. When I say that,believe me. I've got one whole lists telling you why I am putting myself that way. But I didn't want to be present as bragging,so I'd just rather keep them with me. :)

Last time,I'd choose to write one whole long ass piece of essay about my mom. If I were given a chance to back then in school. I don't know I somewhat got bored,or as I grow up. The way I am putting things tend to be so different. So not me,sometimes I would think that way. Because after all. After all those hundreds of words I am expressing,at the end of the day,it's just a thank you. As simple as that. So,thank you mom. <3

I blabbered too much,didn't I? Back to the usual Vanessa. After she had took in thousand of words in one shot for the past 3 hours,she find it easy to express herself. I'm still being me. I can type so long without stopping,I am telling you. Is because,I've finished reading a book. It's weird,I know. Happens to me all the time anyways. Having the strong urge to type so much after indulging myself with so many words I've absorbed. At least I am spilling out what's in my mind,right? :B 

Another thing,recently I've found out that the place I used to rant the most. I should probably put it this way. A place that I find it the best to express myself,has been invaded. Don't ask me where. But if you know me well enough,you know where I am talking about. it feels like I don't have the freedom to spill whatever & however I want to put things as. Because it feels like,everything I wanted to say,it's going to be judged. I just hate that feeling,really. I know I can easily pull myself out from feeling so terrible. Probably you might want to know why am I holding onto this. It's because,I'd want to train up my patience. Because one day in the future,I want to look back & think,I've changed so much. A wiser & stronger person. Therefore,I'll just continue to have things as they are. 

Til the next time,have a great day everyone! :D

Vanessa :) 

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