Friday, April 13, 2012

Life,it gets tough.


Good day readers! I know you have such a procrastinate blogger over here who constantly procrastinate to blog. I don't know,most of the time I have something on mind but I don't have the time. Or either way,have the time but don't have something in mind. Funny,I know. But anyways,I really don't have anything on my mind to talk about. I am here because I seriously feel the sense of guilt. I'd rather slit myself & die than to be such a terrible/forever breaking her promises blogger. I know I told you I can never stand people who broke their promises. But oh well,forgive me? D:

*I swear,I stopped at the first paragraph for a couple of minutes putting on my thinking cap.

Seriously,at the end of this post,I don't know how it's going to turn out to be but whatever comes to mind,I'll just type them out. You have to forgive me again,how long since I last written a proper essay you tell me? D: Matter of fact,I have something on mind to blog about but I don't know,I don't know if it's even appropriate to talk about it.

I know,some people will be like: why? Why care so much about what others think?! It's your blog anyways,you're free to express yourself.

& some people will be like: Vanessa,I know you too well. & that is why I have to prewarn you. If you are one of them who knows me well,I think it's pretty easy to stalk me because I update/rant so much on Twitter,like 24/7 or even here,at this little blog of mine. Both of my sites aren't privatised so yeap,I fear. Well,I have pretty solid reason for this. Like,I don't like the feeling when I rant about something & one day I bumped into somebody (whether we are/aren't close,or whether we met face to face/inbox or whatever) & they asked me about my blog,my entries,I'll feel super awkward. Like,really really awkward. & truth is,I don't know who is reading this particular entry over here. Stalker or not,I don't know.

Ps: My whole point is,if you want to stalk me,silently do it. Cause I hate that awkwardness,you know. I am sure you bloggers out there get what I meant. The feeling. :3

So recently/these few months/weeks,I am going through the tough side of my life. I constantly feel the stress,that peer pressure that I can never explain where it is from. My emotions are so mixed up to the extent that sometimes,just sometimes,I'd think that I am having some mental disorder or something. Seriously. By typing them down with words,I am scared of myself right now. Really? Oh gosh! :O

#1: Just probably I am unhappy with the people I am mixing with right now. That I don't exactly feel very comfortable with. Having issues with attitudes. I don't know how things are going to turn out in the future,but I am not going to lie,I am so upset with this that I sometimes do feel like breaking apart.

#2: I rant to my parents about how unsatisfied I am. About what? I guess I am not going to tell,I shall put this as a personal thing. I rant about their decision,that right now I am not happy with it. But since I've already started with it,I can't back out anymore. So ya. I seriously don't know what to do right now.

Ps: I know this post there's going to be full of 'I don't know(s)'. Matter of fact: I am a confused kid,clouded with problems. You just have to ignore them. I am sorry about that.

#3: I realised I am fed up dealing with people & their attitudes. Looking back at the past few years,it amazed me how much I can tolerate back then. I seriously wouldn't know how I did it but I just did it. & I've been through so much so that right now,at this point,I find it so hard to stay positive. Trust me,just for now. I am sure at one point you'll question yourself,what's the point of staying so strong,what's the point of being so positive but at the end of the day,there's just some idiots will ruin it all. I just don't know. & to be frank,I am so upset about this as well.

I am uncomfortable with that fact that when others are unclear with themselves. Whether with their decisions/actions or whatsoever that somehow it got me involved & I am stuck with their uncertainties. Trust me,I can't handle this. I am not going to lie,I get really really upset with people like this. Because they do not realised the fact that they are selfish in the first place. For not having a clear mind/decisions & stringing others along with them. Which trust me,it hurts so damn bad. I'd wished I did not put myself into situation like this. I'd hope so damn badly because I've once faced the worst. & it got me about half a year to really get over with it. I just don't like the feeling of having to go through the same damn thing all over again. Sorry to say but yeah,I feel like giving up so much.

#4: The last thing I am going to rant,is about rumors. Let me be straight to the point with this. I am somebody who is super straight forward,never will you see me running a big ass round & finally get to my point. With this attitude of mine,people who can't accept it will hate me. But that's just me. So anyways,I also hate the fact that people just like to spread unnecessary rumors around & when it finally gets to you. BAMMM! It was so hilarious to the extent you don't even know THAT particular thing is happening/happened to you. How awesome? People with their mouths,zero tolerance I am telling you.

Sometimes I really wonder where these people even find the time to waste few minutes of their life trying to spread rumors around. Probably,that's their entertainment. I don't know. Once again I am going to be straight forward again,these people are as annoying as hell. Really. The end.

I didn't know this whole thing gotten so tensed/emotional. Wasn't meant to be that way but bahhh,I swear to God I felt so much better. Something on the brighter note,


I am craaaazily obsessed with this. Okay,probably not to that extent. But somehow,this is like a weekly basis thing. Okay,that's bad enough. Pfft,whatever. It's the best. So stalk me at Chatime. Justsaying. lololol. :B


I think I've tweeted about being obsessed with getting new purse. I seriously couldn't get over with it. Don't ask me but isn't it so cute & pretty? I just looove it. Oh btw,if you ever wonder why the hell my legs are so 'white'/fake,this was taken before I went to ballet class. Hence,was wearing my ballet tights. Excuse that. :)

I guess that's the end of this entry. I'd love to thank you guys for finishing this whole damn crappy thing. I swear,I really appreciate it. Problem with me is that I don't like to trouble others with my problems so that is why I don't really talk about them to others. So yeah. Til the next time,take care & love you all. Mwuaaaah, <3

Vanessa :)


  1. chill vanessa...u did the rite thing...n btw...its me...wei shen XD

  2. Chillax and cheer up girl,everything will be fine.=)

  3. BUBUBU! BUBUCHAK BUBCHAK! smileee! ^^

  4. Stay calm and rule your world vanessa! :)

  5. Just saw your post. Kinda understand some parts of it, but you have my support in everything you do girl! Loves! :)