Good day readers! I punya mata sangat the sepat di sini. :O Uhhmaaigod,what sort of language is that?! I just created it my own,excuse me. Btw,I had mamak's version of goreng pisang today. So yums,I swear. :D & I was happily noming with my oreo cookies pudding just now. It was so delicious,but very filling & fattening. That's alright because I don't really eat a lot (okaaay,probably I do). Whatever it is,I am just finding excuses for myself to eat dessert. :P
Back to today's topic: I love my parents,do you? (:
I mean,I am sure most of us do,right? Noted: I wrote most with a bold. Cause probably there's people out there who has problems with their parents/family,I don't know. No offense,really. Before I go on,I am not here to brag or anything,but just to share my story & experience with all of you.
The reason why I've decided to touch on this topic is because during the past months/weeks,I've came contact with some of my friends & they were the one that made me realised so many things. They taught me a lot,trust me. & I am so thankful that whether is God's will to let me to meet people like them & to learn from them or whatsoever,I am just telling you how thankful I am. They were actually the ones (not considered having issues with family,but they just feel neglected/unloved sometimes).
Whenever they eyed on something,they have to earn from themselves. For instance,no matter you work part time,save up from your pocket money/rob the bank,just saying. Their parents mostly wouldn't buy them their wants,but only provide them their needs. Sometimes,they even have to save up like a few years & just to finally get the things they've been dying for. Because whenever they request it to their parents,they will often get a no!
I really thought. I seriously once thought that parents are responsible for everything that their children's needs. By that means,not only food,education or a place to live alone. But entertainments,gadgets,extra hobby classes & etc. I once thought,they are responsible for all of them. Cause the way I am brought up,I tend to have a thinking like this. Truth be told,I am a spoiled brat. I am not gonna lie. But,I have my limits. You'll get what I mean. I admit,I am the apple of the eye for my parents,they gave everything I've requested. Basically,not exactly everything but practically most of the thing.
Note: I only asked what's necessary. Sometimes I might asked for my wants,but they do gave me a no. Not so spoiled after all right? :B
I am telling you/even telling myself,I don't know what it is like to save up for a very long period of time just to purchase the thing I've been dying for. In fact,if you asked me what's my favourite/things I've been craving for,I guess I don't have any. I'd always want to experience how it is like to earn money all by yourself. Probably even saving up from pocket money & spend it on things you like. One day when I finally experience that,I'll let you guys know. :)
Yes,you might think that I am such a fail case. But,my parents don't give me pocket money since young. I envy my friends where their parents gave them on a daily/weekly/monthly basis but I don't. I ask when I need. Only then when I entered college,I talked to my parents about it & finally,I have a monthly basis pocket money. Not going to tell how much it is but all these money are included with the things I want to buy,food when I am in college,petrol money or even entertainment. I don't 100% rely on my pocket money my parents gave me,but sometimes I do replacement ballet classes whenever my teachers aren't free. Through teaching,I can earn some money too. Which is good.
If you don't know,but now you'll know. I'm the youngest in the family. I have two elder sisters. During their time,they didn't get what they want. I can honestly tell you. That is why when I am growing up,my sisters will never fails to complain why every time I get the things I've wanted but they don't. So called,the youngest. They blamed my parents for being too over protective towards me which to be honest,it's really bad for my future. Those days,my parents were worried about me practically about every possibly little things. That sometimes,I do feel upset? I don't know if that's the right word. Because most of my friends aren't brought up that way. I hated myself why I couldn't be as independent as them,I hated how I am always teased as a mummy's girl/daddy's girl. I've always wanted to experience how it is like to be independent,just like my sisters. But my parents won't let me.
Chinese people of educating their child: the elders are always right no matter what. Hence,I didn't talk to them about it.
I don't blame my parents for being that way. Never once I'll put the blame on them. That's the way how they show me their love. I used to have a terrible attitude when I was young that I will never apologize to people. If it's unnecessary,I won't. You barely seen me saying sorry back then because I was pretty spoiled by my daddy last time. Whenever I am sad/lost a tooth/got bad grades for spelling/exams,he'll always buy me ice creams. Without failed. Sometimes,even though I know I am at fault. But I will never apologize to him. Instead,I showed my tempered,sat at a corner until my daddy approached me with ice cream. I know,I know I am a terrible kid. :P
All these years,I don't know what it feels like to be grateful about things. I really don't. By that means,truly,seriously,sincerely feeling grateful. Maybe I do,but just that short period of time & after that,I'll just forget about it. Therefore,I am thankful for having people around me who has total opposite life from me. Who they have to use their hard earned money to buy something. For that,I respect them. They never fail to make me have that pinch of guilt & even sometimes,I am so embarrassed to say: I don't know how it feels like when you wanted something so damn badly,but you just couldn't get it.
For all the things I've taken granted for. No matter about things I've once owned/people,I regretted. This post is published,not to brag. But to constantly reminds myself that whenever I start to complain about how terrible my life is getting/started to take things granted for all over again,I shall read this thing for a million times. :P Seriously. So,I've decided to tell you readers the truth. Don't judge me because of my past. Don't hate me/even give me that look because I am such a spoiled brat. Still,I have to say. I love my parents. & I always will. & one more thing,since I am not as independent as others,I really wonder how it is like to be without my parents. I can't afford to lose them,really.
Ps: I fear,I fear I am not independent enough. That at one point somebody told me this: Vanessa,you've got to be so thankful. You know,the way you think doesn't match your age. Not at all,I don't expect teenagers nowadays to be so matured. Don't worry,it's going to be fine.
Despite those words,I still feel I am so late. So late to learn to be an independent person because there's so many people out there who were a step ahead than me. My fear,in this case,understandable. :)
There,once their baby girl,now finally growing up already. But no matter what I am sure I am still forever the little baby in their eyes,no matter how fully grown I am. Oh btw,I love to hug my parents. Not really,but I love to squeeze my mom so much so that she can't breathe. Oh wells,bad enough. :B