Good day readers! ;)
This week I didn't attempt to do any videos because it's been a long,hectic & stressful week for me. Aside from not having the urge to do any,I really didn't want to appear sad/depress/stressful in my videos hence,a very solid reason for that. I hope all of you are having a great week ahead so far? Unlike me,it's been something that I can't wait to finally go through with. I don't know if this entry it's going to be a long-winded one,but I'll just section up what I'm about to share/rant.
First entire time in my life bringing in ballet students for their assessment. By far the best experience I've gained throughout my dancing life. Not exactly,more to teaching life.
Proud of myself,& proud of them for their performances that day. Though they did screw up a little here & there,or even talked when the assessment was going on even knowing that they are not suppose to. But oh well,what more can you do? They are just bunch of kids. As you can see. :)
Since the day starting to be their assessment teacher & joining my juniors' class & going in for exam with them this year,it really helped me to reflect myself a lot. Past few years when my passion towards dancing was slowly fading,I admit I only thought of myself. I wanted to give up so much. I've never thought of my teacher,my parents. Til recently,one of the parents told my mom,
"I always enjoyed watching your daughter when she's dancing. She has that elegant look,just like what a ballerina should have."
My mom then asked,you really want to give up? It's your final major grade.
Confirm,this year I am not going to sit for my final major grade. Due to my stamina & performances. & another thing that held me back was my teacher. By far,we are the highest group she has ever taught. If giving up just like that,how to make her proud? Hence,this year I decided to go in for exam. But 2 grades lower since RAD had came up with new syllabus. I have few aims for taking up this exam.
#1: Joining my juniors' class. Start reflecting all the basics I've lose.
#2: Gained back my strength,confidence & passion.
#3: I am not expecting. But I REALLY WANT my distinction for this exam. Like seriously. I must score at least a distinction or else I could never forgive myself.
Not bragging or what,but a little dancing background of me. I used to be one of the top students in the ballet centre. I've strive so hard during every exams & achieved distinctions,they are all paid off by hard work. One thing I want to clarify. I am not as hardworking as you thought like other girls. But most of my 'hard work' are God gifted. So this time for my Intermediate new syllabus exam,I must strive for it. For the sake of myself,or even my teacher. Couldn't be more ashame to disappoint her last year. Seriously. D:
Going through a tough time during college this week too. My friends were asking why I was being so quiet most of the time this week. I barely talked. Actually,I was really stressed up. Stressed up with couldn't cope with my studies. Stressed up with why the hell everyone is so bloody smart. Stressed up with revisions & what more,exam? One point,I doubt myself for even taking up this course. Stupid enough,the thought of dropping some subjects ever occurred. Aside from feeling stress I'd still wanna say,I am freaking stressed up. lol. D: Looking at one of my seniors,I'd wished I am as hardworking as her. & how funny looking at her doing past year questions,it stressed me up even more. -.-'
Whatever it is,semester one is coming to an end already. After next week,the last week of having classes. Then the following week having semester one exam. I know,I know this attitude of mine could no longer brought forward to Semester two because I am going to die. A2 syllabus is kicking in & it's going to be so much tougher than AS. Uhhgoood. :(
Ps: 3 weeks of semester break. Aside from only taking a good long rest. Gotta cover all the chapters that were taught during tutorials/practical. Brain is rusting. D:
I am done ranting. Though there's a lot more to rant. But it's a little more personal. I didn't want to publish them out. Cause sometimes,some things should be kept within yourself. If you get what I meant. & btw,I know I've been a slack this week. I'll try my best to reply those comments you guys had left me asap. D: just forgive me okay? I didn't want to say this,but I was about to say: I am stressed up for not replying my readers too. :B Just joking anyways. (:
Before I leave,just in case you'll miss me, :B