Friday, March 30, 2012

Friendship/relationship.

Good day readers! :)

To make up to all of you,this post will be rather long but please bear with me. & forgive me for drowning all of you with my long ass entry,you know how much I love to write essays,how much I love to express myself. This is actually a requested post,if you don't know. & when I got it,I was stunned? Probably I can describe it that way because I've never encounter my readers to request me for a post like that. Well,I just didn't expect this in short. So,I would love to share my opinions/experiences/stories with all of you. You might/might not agree with me on certain things but well,I am just blogging what I've been through & how I felt. So,have fun reading. I hope it helps you,in some ways. :D

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So,I am going to go ahead to start off with - Friendship. :)

At first,I really really value friendships a lot. Don't get me wrong,not that I don't now but you'll get what I meant after this. Reasons?

#1: Friends are always there for me when I am in doubt. Studies,personal problems,laughters,joy & basically getting involved in so many things in your life & definitely plays an important role.

#2: I am sure you have days/moments where you feel your family members don't understand you. & who you'll immediately turn to? Friends!

#3: You went through so many wonderful moments,tough ones with your friends,so I am sure you value them so much. They are your listeners whenever you needed to lend an ear,they are your shoulders to cry on whenever you had a bad day. No? :)

In short,at one point you will treat your friends like your family members. You value your friendship with them so much,you value every possibly little things with them. They are your world. Right? Not trying to make it really dramatic but well,they play a major part in your life so well,basically you just can't leave without them. So,the other day,somebody told me this.

"Yes,you can go ahead to be best friends with whoever you want,or even whoever you feel like being best friends with. But remember,no matter how close you guys are right now,never give in everything. Never throw your whole heart to them because nobody knows the future,it's going to be ugly if things don't workout in the future." 

There,that friend of mine has a point there. Not only talking about friendship alone,relationship,boyfriends girlfriends,family relationship & etc,you never give your whole heart to somebody. I am not telling you not to trust your friends. But please bear in mind that everything has got its limit. You wouldn't know what your friends might do to you in the future? I am not backstabbing your friends. But just in case who knows,they cheat on you,they gossip about you,they bitch around about you,they betray you & stuff like that. Who knows? You talk about relationship,in general. It consists of trust,communication,love,feelings/emotions. I am not specifically saying any thing but in general. I am sure you guys very well know that emotions are a scary devil. It can ruin your day or it can make you feel on top of the world. It's dealing with emotions,so to protect yourself,never ever give your whole heart to somebody. You're responsible for your own feelings. There's no such thing like,

"Damn,you've hurt me! Pay me RM 10,000 to cure my soul!" Silly,isn't it?

A true story about me:

I've once had a best friend. I am telling you why not to invest too much feelings onto them is because you'll end up like me. This best friend of mine,we went through lots of happy moments together as well as hardships. Just like any other friendships you can find out there. But do you know what it feels like the next day you woke up,things just changed. & the both of you just acted like strangers. & as though the memories were just nothing. You guys were just nothing? If you hadn't experienced,I did. I don't know if it's appropriate to say this but I cried. Yes,I cried hard for it for a week. I kid you not. Because I was once a girl who rely on her friends so much so that I trust people easily & I got hurt. End of story. :)

Since then,I learned my lesson.

#1: Do not trust people easily,& NEVER give your whole heart to somebody else. It's your own responsibility to take good care of it.

#2: Always remember everything has got its limit.

& if you asked me my opinion about friendship? 

I once believe in 'best friends forever'. I do. But now,for me I what I really feel is that friends come & go. I always used to describe friends as touch & go. Maybe,just maybe there are true friendships out there. I don't know. But for me,I hadn't found one yet. Sometimes it's sad to say that you have to let go of the friendship because things isn't working out. Once in awhile you guys may ask each other about life but often conversations just hang it there. Nevertheless,I can honestly tell you that I don't have the feeling of hatred toward things I've lost. Because I know God gave me for a reason in the first place & take it away from me in order for me to fall. For me to learn. For me to stand up & be a wiser person. That's the positive side of looking into it. Well,I am really grateful for the people I've met throughout my 18 years of living. Even though certain people might only went through certain phases of life with me,but I still appreciate them. Because at that moment,they were the ones that went through with me. They were the ones who I needed the most. No regrets,I promise. 

For those who lost their friendships out there,this is to you:

You have to know that this is part of life. Without losing,without feeling the pain you won't learn. This is something I really believe in. I've been through that,I know what it feels like. It hurts. In fact,it hurts like crap. But you gotta tell yourself,you're not suppose to be upset about this for life. At least you once had a great friendship that they helped you so much in the past & bring the best out of you. Right? Don't be sad,it's life. Just move on & in the near future,you'll get to meet different people out there. So as long you guys are in friendly term,I guess it's a great journey you've sailed through with your friends. :)

For those who still have their strong bonded friendships,something for you:

Congratulations! :) Because I really envy you. Whoever who's reading this,I hope you do feel special already. :P It's hard to find a true friend out there. & probably for life,some people couldn't find one either. So if you're not one of them please,please feel grateful. Appreciate them & don't forget to show your appreciation. :D

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Such a long part of my friendship entry. For those who hadn't got drown with my words,congratulation! :D I bet there's also readers run for their life by clicking the 'x' button. D: That's sad,isn't it? So anyways,let's proceed to the relationship part. I was only requested to talk about the love type of relationships,the boyfriends girlfriends one ah. If you want me to talk about others,let me know by commenting down below. Spread me loves. <3 Oh btw,I am not a love guru. Not even a tad bit close to that. I am just sticking to the principle of sharing is caring. ;)

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There you go. The lovey dovey,some call the best part of the relationship. But,such situation can only last about 3 months. Like they used to say,the first 3 months of the relationship is called the honeymoon month. 

Ps: I just attended college 3 months. Oh no,next month no more honeymoon? D: gaaah. Out of topic. :P

Here,good thing about being in a relationship:

#1: Whenever you are happy,sad,mad,joy,feel like shitting ( :P ) you have somebody to share with. Well basically you share everything with your partner which leads to,when your relationship got settled down & you don't feel the need to update them every single little details like baby,I needa peeee. They will ASSUME themselves that you don't love them anymore. Very silly. I know. 

#2: One stone kills two birds. They are your soulmate & best friend at the same time. & you live happily ever after. :P

#3: Because you're in a relationship,you're in love. Your partner will give all their attention to you. You feel like you're the center of their life. & when the relationship got settled down & you ASSUME your partner knew your love,you don't think there's a need to express your love. Another partner of yours will also ASSUME that you don't love them anymore hence,World War 3. I dump you lor,cannot ah? Big deal meh? :) 

In short,often couples got killed by the word "assume". So moral of the story,don't simply assume. It's bad for your relationship. :) 

My opinion towards this relationship thing:

I guess everybody can't deny the fact that being in love can be lovable,& also hateable at the same time. It's a love-hate thing. But as I said,the word "assume" can really destroy your relationship. I am sure after passing through the honeymoon months when things between the both of you finally got settled down,please resist the temptation for assuming. It's bad. Bear that in mind. Sometimes,when your partner stop showing you their love/seldom express them,it's very easily to be tempted to think of negative things. But you totally have neglect about this. *reads back point one. Actually the reason is very simple. At the beginning,you guys were just strangers,you barely know each other so you took your time to know each other. Hence,you update every little details to your partner. Like what you're doing,what food did you ate,what time you shit & stuff like that. So when things got settled down & they stop updating you stuff like that,doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. It's silly to put things that way. 

I guess,relationship is very similar to friendship. The key wouldn't run. Like I've said it in the friendship part,communication,trust,understanding,patience,feelings are all involved. &,NEVER EVER give your whole heart to your soulmate.I repeat,DON'T. You'll end up getting hurt & things will definitely get ugly once again. 

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Emo one,emo one. Don't be the emo & silly one. trololol. It somehow rhymes. 

To those who lost their love one/relationship,this is for you:

I am sure you've read this statement before. Before you knew them,you were happy. So,without them,you'll be happy again one day. Have faith. It's true. If you were smiling,laughing,enjoying yourself before meeting your soulmate,what makes you think that you can't after losing them? You don't live for them. You live for yourself. So get back up & be strong. & always remember,you're not alone. There are also millions & billions of people out there who are broken hearted,not only you. Life still goes on no matter what you know? It doesn't & never will stop for anybody. So instead of ranting,emo,being sad about your lost,time to shift your focus to something else. Brighter note,if it didn't work out between the both of you,he/she isn't your mr/mrs right. Be patient. If you believe in second chances,I am not telling you not to hope. But never put that as your main priority,you have better things to focus on so good luck! :D

To those who are still in a lovey dovey relationship,this is for you:

I am happy to hear that. :D Every relationships will definitely go through lots of ups & downs,bumpy road & whatsoever. If you really think your partner is the right one,don't let them go. Never give up. Instead,go through all the hardships together. Then you'll see how compatible the both of you actually are. & it also strengthens the love between the both of you. Like friendship,not everyone can be fated to meet their mr/mrs right. So if you've already got one,appreciate them. & never take them for granted. Especially their love. If so,somebody who really loves you will get tired & eventually decides to end the relationship. Which is something you wouldn't want it to happen right? :) So good luck to you.

Fuhhh! I am finally done & mission accomplished by getting to publish this post. :D thumbs up for me. As I said,it's a long & thoughtful one. I hope you readers are satisfied if anyone still bothers to finish up the whole thing. To sum things up,you can leave a comment down below sharing with me your experiences/stories,would be happy to hear it from you guys. & if you have any problems,I can be your listener too. Let me know,pm me or something? :) So I hope this post is useful,hopefully. Fingers crossed. :O 



Sincerely,
Vanessa :) 

9 comments:

  1. This is such a nice post :D Thanks for posting it again just because I requested it :)

    Btw, I guess there are things/words friends can say and gf/bf can't say to each other right? Sometimes friends can be really straight forward, and then couple have to have their own limits for the words they say right so that they won't hurt each other feelings although it's better to be honest..? But I hope you get what I meant.. like a best girlfriend can tell anything to a best guy friend while gf and bf is a different situation. Do you understand? Haha.

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  2. Shermaine: you're most welcome. (: yes yes,I geddit. It's true that we have to becareful with the choices of words because partners will get very sensitive sometimes. But I guess even tho it might hurt to tell the truth,if it's necessary to tell,I think you should. If it's for the best. They have to be understanding & like they said: truths are always ugly.

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  3. Welcome :) Yeap that's right :D So I guess being a girlfriend/best girlfriend also got a very huge difference towards a guy and vice versa eh?

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  4. wow. -.- really long post. but..I bear-ed with u! hahah! what a lovely post..full of emotion...and love..u must be very inspired to write this huh?;P

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  5. Shermaine: you mean the way the guy is going to look at you? :)

    Eunice: Not really inspired. I only wrote based on what I've been through but really,I am so touched that you actually finished this long post. :') meant so much to me. <3

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  6. I really feel for you when I read along this post. Maybe I experienced some of those u had mentioned in the post eh. Thanks for writing it babe :)

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  7. Xue Ren: yeah,I am sure it's common that most of us have gone through situations like that right? :) no problem,so as long we both stay strong til the end. <3

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  8. Yeah. The way the guy look at his girlfriend/best girlfriend :)

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  9. Shermaine: yes,yes! I get you dear. (:

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